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Forgiving on Your Feet

"[Forgiveness is] a deliberate act on our part. Revenge evens the score; forgiveness wins the game." —Family Walk

One of the secrets of effective leadership is the ability to forgive on your feet—forgive someone in the moment when that person does or says something that offends or hurts you; forgive when someone fails to be their word or messes up on the job. Forgiving on your feet means not wasting precious time or energy being resentful or resisting the urge to not trust and do it all yourself, again.

Forgiveness is about regaining your power. That's right! As long as you are resentful, the person or circumstance that you are resentful of has power over you. When you forgive, you reestablish control over your life and reclaim your personal power. You give up the stress that carrying resentment or hurt creates, and you give yourself an immediate benefit of stress relief.

Leadership is a choice not to let your important life decisions be run by your feelings. Forgiveness is a choice we can make, even in the face of our feelings, including our fears. Forgiveness means we are willing to be vulnerable again... to take the risk. Forgiveness means choosing to give up being a victim and give up being right.

Forgiving on your feet takes practice. It may seem difficult at first, but the way to improve your ability to forgive is to practice, practice, and practice some more! You've probably noticed that life gives you several opportunities every day to forgive on your feet—being cut off on the freeway, the restaurant server taking too long to bring your check to the table, your son spilling a gallon of grape juice on the carpet, a member of your executive team losing a major account... you get the idea!. So every time you recognize a new hurt or anger, practice choosing in that moment to let go of it quickly. You simply have to practice choosing a forgiving attitude.

Leaders forgive quickly. Leaders know that giving over their energy to resentment or a grudge robs them of their ability to lead effectively. They have to forgive and move on in order to stay the course and get what they say they want, by-when they say they want it.

Leaders know forgiveness is 100% their responsibility. The power of forgiveness lies in the fact that it has NOTHING to do with the other person. Forgiveness is for, and all about, YOU! It's about you giving up hurt and your judgments about others. It's a precious gift you give to yourself, your self-esteem, and to your relationships with everyone. Forgiveness is 100% your responsibility because you are 100% in control of your behavior and choices.

So, how about choosing right now to be a forgive-on-your-feet leader?

Clay S. Nelson, the founder of Consulting Services Network LLC, and his team are committed to putting fun, family and financial freedom into everyone's business and personal lives. With over two decades of experience coaching business leaders in creating life balance, building teams, and writing plans, their programs are designed to alter the cultures of companies and families. They make a powerful and lasting difference with each person they meet, every group they speak with, and with every client they serve.